We all have a different story

I am constantly amazed by comments from people who deem me too young to even think about the idea of engagement, marriage and having children.

Friday was a work team building day. In the evening, the day was finished off with a dinner at a Spanish Tapas restaurant. With a couple of Sangrias under most peoples belts, the conversation turned to our partners and relationships. I said I had been with Steve 5 years and one of the (single) guys asked me how that was going. Fine, I said. We get along well and we enjoy each others company. 

I don't believe you, he said. Well why not? Because every relationship has problems, I bet he can be an asshole.

Yes, every relationship has problems; but no - he is not an asshole. 

The conversation went on with him basically trying to convince me that Steve probably did have 'asshole moments' and that I just couldn't see it. Basically telling me I was too young to realise.

A female colleague, over the age of 30 (age will be relevant in this story) decided to join the conversation. She told us that I was young and I hadn't experienced a relationship properly. She said 'wait until you are 30, your story will change'.

Which led me to the question - How is my 5 year relationship (at 23 years of age) any different to a 5 year relationship at 33 years of age.

Well apparently, at 23 years of age, I haven't experienced enough. Apparently, since Steve is my first love I have no idea.

Why do people think they can weigh in on my relationship and tell me whether it is going well or not?

 Why do people think they can tell me what age is ok to become engaged or get married or have children? (Because the conversation also had their opinions on this too)

 Why do people who hardly know me think it is ok at all to form their opinions on what they know so little about?

And most importantly, what has happened in their life to make them so bitter?

We all come from different walks of life. We all form our own story. Just because their story sees them married at 30+, that doesn't mean the rest of society should follow. Just because they might have had a relationship at 23 that didn't work out, doesn't mean mine will be the same.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married after 30. Just like there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way in which my relationship goes. Whether I be engaged at 23 or 33; that is my story.

Do people try to weigh in on your relationship?

Do you ever get told not to worry because you are 'too young'?

Getting to know each other...better

I came across the Myer Briggs Personality test the other day and decided to fill in the questionaire to see which of the 16 personality types I fit in to. I must admit, I was a bit skeptical at first...There are how many people in the world and some person came up with a test so that we all fit in to 1 of 16 categories. Whatever.

Well, I was pleasantly surprised. After finishing the 78 or so questions (yes/no answers), I was given my personality type which I promptly punched in to google. The personality type is absolutely me. It describes me better than I can and after reading all of the information I could, I just had to show Steve. He agreed, that the personality test gave me an incredibly accurate result.

Earlier in the evening, we had been walking the dog and talking about the sort of parents we wanted to be in the future. We talked about our roles as parents and how we wanted to parent as well as the type of presence we would have in the children's lives. We don't have plans to start a family yet, but I like to talk about these things. Planning the future if you will. With enough searching on google, we were able to find what sort of parents our personality type picked us to be and it was almost exactly described as what we were telling each other earlier.

When we got home, Steve decided he wanted to the test as well. The personality type he was given was also incredibly accurate. We read about his personality and delved deeper in to understanding each other. The test is great because it can tell you things about yourself that you didn't know and I found myself more than once saying 'so that's why I do that'.

Even though we've been together 5 years and know each other very well, I loved reading more about Steve and his personality and he has said that reading about mine has helped him understand me more. As fas as personality types go, ours are very different. I guess that is why we work together so well.

I am an ISFJ, what are you?